To draw a map of a child’s mind.
Doctors sometimes draw maps of other parts of you, and your own map can become intensely interesting, but catch them trying to draw a map of a child’s mind, which is not only confused, but keeps going round all the time. There are zigzag lines on it, just like your temperature on a card, and these are probably roads in the island - for the Neverland is always more or less an island.
Peter Pan and Wendy, J. M. Barrie (Chapter 1).
Written: 7-9 June 2013, for princess aleera's birthday.
Pairings: None (except Dean/Castiel/Sam friendship)
Rating: M, for a little gore at the start
Genre and tropes: Baby fic, bunker fic, fallen Castiel, human Castiel, domestic fluff, post season 8
Word count: 6k.
Spoilers: Assume knowledge through to the end of season 8.
Summary: They come across an abandoned newborn, on a case. Sam assumes Dean will put her up for adoption. Any minute now... right? (Also known as, I can’t help it, I have father!Dean feels this week.)
Warnings: Gore (canon-level violence) resulting in an orphan.
“I thought their eyes couldn’t focus so young.”
Dean’s finger reached out, traced across the baby’s cheek, earned a small noise.
“Guess nobody told her that. Wants to get you all figured out - don’t you, darlin’?”
There was a lazy ease to Dean’s voice when he spoke to her that brought out the drawl, the one he usually kept hidden under the sharpness of the job, of being the tough guy with the world on his shoulders. It did strange, uneasy things to Sam’s gut - some not-quite-right feeling that he couldn’t place.
O, brave new world!
an epilogue to season 8
Alonso: Arise, and say how thou camest here.
Miranda: O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in’t!
Prospero: ‘Tis new to thee.
The Tempest, William Shakespeare (Act V, Scene 1).
Written: 18-22 May 2013.
Pairings: Dean/Sam, Castiel/Dean, Castiel/Dean/Sam.
Genre and tropes: Wincestiel, episode coda, fallen angels, human Castiel, hurt/comfort.
Word count: 9500.
Spoilers: Through to (and especially for) the finale of season 8.
Summary: “Are you okay?” Sam put in, and Dean was fiercely stupidly grateful because he couldn’t ask it himself.
“I,” Castiel said, and he sounded so fucking lost. “Metatron was lying.”
“Oh, y’think?” Dean snapped out, and snatched the phone from Sam. “Where are you?”
“I’m not,” Castiel said, and, “I don’t know. Dean, everything is written in Italian, and I should be able to read it but I can’t remember most of the words and I can’t feel the Earth’s magnetic field or where the equator is or this vessel’s negotiations with gravity, Dean, I don’t know where I am.”
Say how thou camest here.
Everything was very clear suddenly, as Dean hustled Sam outside, crouched with him in the lee of the Impala: clear in a way that Dean had almost forgotten. Sam was his, fierce as iron: the clutch of his hands in Dean’s jacket, the shake in his voice when he said Dean’s name like it was the only word he knew, the warm solid weight of him against Dean’s side. What was that they said - if you love somebody set them free, and they might even come back? Sam was sagging against him, coughing and groaning, but he was leaning on Dean and happy to do it, for as long as he needed it. For the first time in - hell, years - there was no crap between them, none of the push-pull and how-could-you and anger. Brothers again, and that was more important than anything. And they were going to be okay.
Then Heaven began to fall.
Dean couldn’t leave either of his men alone for five freaking minutes.( Read more... )
Written: Friday 9 May 2013.
Pairings: None, although there’re several could-be-preslashes lurking about.
Genre and tropes: Angstfluff. Shh. It’s a genre. Also, bunkerfic, reading to sick people, hurt/comfort, and the idea of home.
Word count: 2200.
Spoilers: Episode coda to 8x21.
Summary: The bunker doesn’t really feel like home right now. Dean is restless, Sam’s a mess, and Castiel just won’t heal. Until one day, for no obvious reason, he begins to get better.
Notes: Just in case anybody doesn’t recognise it, the book in question is The Wind In The Willows.
In her last text, Charlie asked how things were going back here at the hobbit hole. Coming from her, that’s... well, sweet, because Dean knows what she means by it, only just now Dean isn’t entirely sure it won’t be a grave instead.( Read more... )
Angel: So that's everything, huh? No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away, and what's left?
Written: Thursday 2 May - within an hour of watching the episode!
Pairings: Castiel/Dean preslash.
Other characters: Slight sightings of Charlie and Sam.
Genre and tropes: Hurt/comfort, preslash, a little fluff, bunkerfic, Castiel being grouchy.
Word count: 2k.
Spoilers: Assumes knowledge of 8x21 ("The Great Escapist").
Summary: Let's just say it picks up directly from the end of the final scene, Dean makes more stew, and there is some discussion of the nature of angels.
Warnings: None.( Read more... )
Frate, non far: ché tu se’ ombra, e ombra vedi.
Brother, do not so: for you are a shadow, and a shadow am I.
Già s’inchinava ad abbracciar li piedi
al mio dottor; ma el li disse: “Frate,
non far, ché tu se’ ombra e ombra vedi”.
Ed ei surgendo: “Or puoi la quantitate
comprender de l’amor ch’a te mi scalda,
quand’io dismento nostra vanitate,
trattando l’ombre come cosa salda”.
Already stooping to my lord [Virgil], he made to kiss his feet;
but my lord said to him, “Brother, do not so: for shade thou art, and look’st upon a shade.”
And the other man, rising:
“Now thou wilt understand how hot is my love for you, as I forget our nothingness,
treating these shadows as material things.”
Dante Alighieri, Purgatorio xxi ll. 130-136. Dante and Virgil encounter an old friend of Virgil’s in Purgatory.
Translation adapted from that of Dorothy L. Sayers.
Written for the Gabriel Big Bang 2013.
Art by the amazing cherishedsaulie.
Betaed by Ealasaid; and special thanks to princess_aleera for letting me bounce ideas off her about Castiel and Gabriel’s dynamics.
Summary: A Purgatory fairy tale. Finding Gabriel in Purgatory is only the start. Steeped in Purgatory’s Lethe effect, Gabriel has forgotten everything about himself and the world - or has he? Dean is determined that he’s getting all of them out Dick-land and back into the real world, but when one angel doesn’t believe he deserves to get out and the other one doesn’t know what out is, that’s easier said than done.
Characters and Pairings: Emotionally, Castiel/Dean/Gabriel. Although the only actual sex is Dean/Gabriel, all the relationships draw on elements of romance and the erotic in places.
Word count: 41k.
Genre and tropes: Purgatory!fic; threesome; amnesia; incorporeal!Gabriel (temporary).
Warnings: Various forms of PTSD, as we’d expect of Dean and Castiel following the end of season 7. Moderate angelcest. Slightly sexual dom/sub elements (used to a specific therapeutic end rather than as a regular dynamic in the relationship), including edgeplay and not-exactly-mindsex. Moderate-level sexual situation initiated by a character who isn’t capable of fully conscious consent. Amnesia. Strange narrative voice, as the P. O. V. character begins the story semi-formless in mind and body, and the narrative style gets clearer as he relearns himself and the world around him. Swearing, in Dean and Gabriel’s dialogue and (increasingly as the story progresses) in the narrative voice.
Spoilers: Through to the finale of season 7. This verse was begun before season 8 aired, so is not influenced by the show’s depiction of Purgatory. You may catch me playing with character ideas that have arisen over the course of the season, but these shouldn’t be recognisable as such unless you’ve watched the season (and therefore not spoilery).
Notes: Conceptually inspired by the eerily beautiful tumblr, wanderingthroughpurgatory. Second in the A rimirar le stelle series, and therefore sequel to La diritta via era smarrita. It isn’t essential to read that first, but it’s only 3500 words long and the dynamic between Dean and Castiel in the earlier parts of this fic will make more sense with that in mind. Besides, it has pretty, eerie Purgatory images in it; and, being mostly from Dean’s perspective, describes the visuals of Gabriel’s incorporeal and semi-corporeal forms better than incorporeal Gabriel ever bothers to do.
--- Links ---
“You wanna know how long it’s been since I was only an angel, kid? Hell of a lot longer than since those vamps were only human. Empires have risen and nose-dived, and so have gods. There’s nothing pure about me.”
Bright as a Gorgon’s eyes.
a March-Stalkers Mighty extra
Written: 15-19 March 2013.
Genre and tropes: Domesticity, some fluff, some h/c, virginity, oral sex, cuddles, cookie-dough fights, fairy tale.
Word count: 13k.
Spoilers: Plenty for March-Stalkers Mighty, none for the show.
Summary: Dean had always looked at him like that. He’d always looked at Castiel and made him into something new, something that Dean believed in so strongly that it became reality before Castiel had even noticed he was changing.
Warnings: Grief, and mention of character deaths that took place before the story opens.
Notes: Timestamp to March-Stalkers Mighty: key scenes and sequences during the action of MSM and after it, from Castiel’s point of view. Given this retells parts of that story but doesn’t detail the action in between, will make very little sense without having read the main fic.
An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,
Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth.
Sonnet XX, William Shakespeare.
Look not upon me, for thine eyes are wounding:
Yet do not go away: come, basilisk,
And kill the innocent gazer with thy sight.
Henry VI part 2, William Shakespeare (III.ii).
[Love] adds a precious seeing to the eye:
A lover’s eyes will gaze an eagle blind.
Love’s Labours Lost, William Shakespeare (IV.iii).
... with Hector’s eyes glaring bright as a Gorgon’s eyes or Ares’, man-destroying Ares’.
Homer’s Iliad (Book VIII.
“You gotta open your eyes, Cas,” Dean whispered in his ear, breath huffing distraction down the side of Castiel’s neck.
“My eyes are open,” Castiel grumbled at him, and promptly made a liar of himself as Dean tucked his nose into the crook of Castiel’s neck and laughed, as Dean’s hand on his waist shifted with the horse’s movement and brushed warm against Castiel’s skin through the loose ties at the side of his tunic.( Read more... )
“Wherefore beware who so euyr bere lyons or a lyon in armys, that he do not ayen the nature and kynde of a lyon.”
And therefore let him who bears lions or a lion on his coat of arms beware: let him do nothing contrary to the nature and kind of a lion.
John de Bado Aureo, in Tractatus de armis (A tract on arms/heraldry), written for Richard II’s queen Anne of Bohemia (Bodleian manuscript Laud misc. 733, folios 5v-6r). In reference to the noble, king-like qualities supposedly possessed by a lion, and therefore by any knight or house or lord who had a lion as their emblem. This idealised lion, of course, was purely a creature of heraldry – of symbols and legends – with little or no reference to the way a real lion lives his life.
Pairings: Sex scenes are Dean/Gabriel and Castiel/Dean. Other established relationships exist - most importantly, as Gabriel is the alpha of the flock, he and his two betas are in an established sexual relationship with everyone else in the flock (including each other), excepting the underaged characters.
Genre and tropes: Slash. Alpha/beta/flock fic. AU: all angels. Knotting, biting, heat, first time.
Word count: 30k.
Summary: Even at fifteen, slim-winged and slim-bodied and with bruises on his face and body that Gabriel didn’t have to ask about, Dean hadn’t been the kind of person you could laugh off when he made you a demand like that. Gabriel had given his promise, to this bedraggled bull-headed kid who’d walked into his land and told him what to do; had given it even though he’d known better than Dean what it meant. Come back with us. Challenge another alpha, one who’d made violence and power a way of life. Kill the angel who'd killed John Winchester. Step up to the plate in another broken flock, this one almost entirely made up of strangers who had no reason to trust Gabriel or to tolerate his mistakes (strangers to whom an alpha was a dangerous thing), and try to pull them together again. And never, never screw up. Never let down a single person.
Warnings: Wow. This list looks heavy. See the notes below for a bit of context on how these things are handled and how they fit into the tone of the story. I promise it’s not actually as angsty as this makes it sound. Meanwhile, hover over underlined text for (spoilery) specifics about character and circumstance, if that’s likely to be a dealbreaker for any of these warnings.
The could-be-a-trigger warnings: Reference to past consensual sex between under-aged participants (both fifteen), and to past non-con and attempted non-con between under-aged participants (15) and an adult in a position of power. Sex used as a means of social dominance – negatively in the past, positively in the present, although there is a sense that it always has the potential for accidental or intentional abuse. Sex as a biological imperative (heat, in which the body demands sex with the flock alpha and/or betas).
The maybe-not-your-cup-of-tea warnings: Fraternal incest in a socially permitted context (between the alpha and his betas as a means of sealing social bonds). Alpha/beta/flock dynamics, including knotting, self-lubrication (in all sexually mature male characters), heat, biting and marking (sometimes breaking the skin, so slight bloodplay), sub/dom moments in sex scenes, and other negotiation of power dynamics (though with significant attempts from the leader of the flock to set up a system that eases the biological power imbalance). Virginity (more or less). Scenes of caring for infants, and one scene including some of the less dignified aspects of aged care.
Notes: ... So. This world got away from me and grew Issues. The fic explores some of the problems of power dynamics implicit in the alpha/beta/flock social model, especially where sex can be used as a tool for emotional and social control. The characters are, therefore, working to find a balance between biology and culture, the innate and the learned, the body and the mind. Because I like my characters and I didn’t want to go that dark, all actual abuses of that power are firmly in the past, and the character who perpetuated them is dead. However, the central characters of this fic, and the community in which they live, are still working their way through the after-effects of this. The overall tone is a combination of porn-with-plot and fluff with bonus angst and protective-boys – no one is as badly broken as they are in canon or suffers from PTSD – but there are definitely references to past events that could be triggery for some people, and some of the characters’ ways of dealing with their history may also be difficult to deal with for anyone recovering from childhood or sexual abuse. (Sam, Castiel, and Dean were all minors at the time, and the effects of it on them were mostly to emphasise or develop character traits that we see in them in canon – Sam’s difficulties with trusting anyone outside his immediate family despite having charming and easy manners, for example, and Dean’s over-protectiveness when it comes to people who are ‘his’.)
Originally written for the Team Free Love Secret Lover exchange, for sharys-aogail.
Pairings: Almost gen - Castiel/Dean pre-slash.
Genre and tropes: Theoretically fluff and crackfic, though Sam keeps trying to angst. Episode tag to 5x04. Trickster!Gabriel, temporarily-fem!Gabriel.
Word count: 3400.
Spoilers: Postscript to 5x04 (and AU from there)..
Summary: Set after 5x04. There are several things Sam doesn’t understand. One is pretty simple: how the hell (hah) are he and Dean meant to hold out against two sulky archangels who both want a ride to the prom? Others are “what on earth went down in that weird alternate reality Zachariah put Dean in,” “why is Dean looking at Castiel so strangely now,” and “who is this woman with pink hair who’s just turned up and decided they’re all going to take a day off to visit the zoo.”
Warnings: Gabriel using a glamour to appear female. References to 5x04, and other angst of season 5.
Notes: Originally written for the Team Free Love Secret Lover exchange, for verucasalt123. To a mish-mash of her prompts - “Dean/Cas, Sam and Gabriel trying to force them to acknowledge their feelings for each other” and a bit of “the Trickster playing tricks”. Gabriel also tries to make the story fit the “crack” request, but alas, the boys aren’t really in the mood.
“So you’re the missing archangel,” Sam tried. She bit the end off her giant candy snake and grinned, all teeth and sparkle. “Not really missing. More sort of temporarily misplaced. Like the One Ring.”( A hotel room, back in the right year. The common grubbiness of we-can’t-be-bothered-cleaning, not the violence and desolation of zombieland. And a smirking balding angel in centre-stage. )
Let them be joyful: let them sing aloud upon their beds
an In His Image extra
Pairings: Main pairings Castiel/Dean and Gabriel/Sam; but they are in the process of moving towards wholesale TFL. All the other permutations are in various stages of development in this fic, with Wincest being the least advanced - enough that Dean can pretend it isn’t there at all. Mouseover for participants in the sex scene, if desired.
Genre and tropes: Christmas!fic. Fluff. Post-Apocalypse. Threesome, blowjobs, kissing, voyeurism, eggnog, carol singing, far too much mistletoe.
Word count: 7800.
Spoilers: Set after season 5, so everything up until Swan Song is fair game. Nothing for any seasons after that except passing reference to two characters whom we only meet in season 7 in canon.
Summary: In which it is their first Christmas together, and Gabriel decides that it is absolutely necessary to go carol-singing. Also there is now mistletoe growing all over every ceiling in the house, because who’s going to argue with mistletoe?
Warnings: Angelcest, and pre-Wincest thoughts. For those of Dean’s mindset regarding food, I should probably also include a warning for meat-free lasagne (Castiel’s still squeamish about red meat, I’m afraid!).
Notes: Set a few months after the close of In His Image, but it’s entirely possible to read this on its own. The main fic goes AU after Gabriel’s death but does use events and set-ups from the remaining episodes. Basically, “Kali brought Gabriel back to life and they stopped the Apocalypse and now Castiel runs Heaven.” At the end of the main fic we left the four boys learning how to be a family together; we also saw hunters and angels begin to build a network of contacts and liaise with people like Becky and the power of the internet to coordinate post-Apocalyptic clean-up, which is alluded to here, and which is now beginning to settle down into a more permanent set-up.
Originally written for the Team Free Love Secret Lover Exchange, for tiptoe39. Prompt was “Send the boys on vacation. Give them a break. Let them relax, let it all hang out, get their freak on a bit. Where and how is up to you. Just give them some time off and see where that utter lack of stress and danger takes them emotionally.”
“It’s nothing like that, okay? It’s just... conditioning.”
“’Cos usually when you two get going Cas and I start making out too. It’s like... Pavlovian.”
“Sure,” Gabriel agreed, eyes wide and sweet and completely untrustworthy, and snapped the groceries away into their places. “And also Sam and I are hot.”
Dean tossed the oven mitts at him, because Gabriel liked doing all the little everyday things the human way. “Isn’t there a lasagne you should be checking?”
“So,” Sam announced happily, staggering in under another mountain of shopping bags, “I got Christmas decorations!”
An Acorn Button
a March-Stalkers Mighty extra
All children, except one, grow up.
Wendy also said that she would give him a kiss if he liked, but Peter did not know what she meant, and he held out his hand expectantly.
“Surely you know what a kiss is?” she asked, aghast.
“I shall know when you give it to me,” he replied stiffly; and, not to hurt his feeling, she gave him a thimble.
“Now,” said he, “shall I give you a kiss?” and she replied with a slight primness, “If you like.” She made herself rather cheap by inclining her face toward him, but he merely dropped an acorn button into her hand, so she slowly returned her face to where it had been before, and said nicely that she would wear his kiss on the chain around her neck.
Peter Pan, James M. Barrie, 1911 after the play of 1904 (Chapters 1 & 3).
Pairings: Castiel/Dean, Gabriel/Sam preslash.
Genre and tropes: Pre-slash. Fantasy AU. Dean over-reacting when it comes to his little brother.
Word count: 5700.
Spoilers: None - AU.
Summary: So, okay, it took a while for Dean to work out that it was even possible for a guy to want love and sex with another guy, when it came to him and Castiel. And what with having finally got his act together there, and this whole angel-human treaty business, he’s been a bit distracted, okay? Can’t blame a guy if he takes a week or two to work out what that realisation means for the way his little brother looks at Gabriel.
Warnings: Passing reference to xenophobia or homophobia. Dean being a bit of a dick. Brief teenage angst.
And Sam… Sam was over there, looming by the feed shed, with his eyes practically shining. That fond knowing smirk of his was half-hidden behind his hand, like he could see what Gabriel was doing and every one of his flaws all at once and still wanted him for his hero.
And hold on. Hold on just one freaking second. Dean recognised that look, but not from Sam: he knew it because it was what he saw on Castiel, in Castiel’s eyes when he looked at Dean.
Pairings & Characters: Dean, Gabriel, Castiel. Gen, so far. Future Dean/Gabriel, but definite Strong Feels all around.
Rating: Teen, for Purgatory creepiness and altered mental states.
Word count: 3300.
Spoilers: Up to and including season 7 finale. Takes no account of anything after that, so no season 8 spoilers.
Written: 24 September, 2012.
Warnings (mouseover for spoilery detail): Slippery grip on sanity. Amnesia. Image-heavy (all SFW).
Summary: Set after the season 7 finale. Dean thinks he’s alone in Purgatory, but Castiel is always there. Something else is there too: something old and nameless, something once-familiar, drawn to the shining beacon of memories and emotions that remind it of something it doesn’t understand.
The other denizens of this place cringed back from the strange new unbright light, terrifyingbeautifulmine. But this denizen didn’t. It pressednibbled closer, clung to the edges. Soul and grace so oddly intertwined, they were, withlove withouttrust, withbrotherhood withoutunderstanding.
What was brotherhood?
What were love, and trust? Strange thoughts to rise from forgotten not-nows. Thoughts that didn’t belong in this nowplace.
Note: This stands alone, but was written as backstory for my Ask Debriel tumblr project. The only difference this makes is to affirm that, though I haven’t written it (yet), the problems with which they’re left at the end of this story are resolved, and they do get out of Purgatory. This was partly written because I wanted to write something Purgatory-related before the season 8 première and was running out of time, and partly because someone conveniently asked on the tumblog for more information about what had happened in Purgatory. And it wasn’t something the boys were just going to up and say, so...
Images were all found on the eerily beautiful wanderingthroughpurgatory.
( Read more... )
Summary: Historical AU, northern Wales 1284. As Edward I's army creeps forward in its painstaking invasion of Wales, one of his knights and one of his draftsman pass the time in the sun. Sir Dean of Winchester is, after all, a temptation too strong for human frailty to resist. Besides, Dean's wrists look really really good in those vambraces.
Pairing/Characters: Castiel/Dean. Edward I and Sam mentioned.
Written: 16 September 2012.
Warnings/Tropes/Other things: Knight!Dean, craftsman!Cas. Some mention of religious themes, corresponding uncertainty about how to understand homosexuality. As they're in the middle of a military campaign to subjugate Wales, there's some mention of the Welsh as primitive or traitorous.
Note: The first few paragraphs originally written as a commentfic here.
Written: 13-14 June 2012
Pairing: Dean/Gabriel, Sam/Castiel pre-slash or friendship.
Rating: Teen, almost complete crack
Length: c. 5800
Summary: The advantage of Gabriel having downloaded all of Shakespeare's plays into Dean's head is that Dean quoting Shakespeare is really hot. The disadvantage is that it makes an excellent excuse for them to actually talk even less.
In which Sam goes "..." a lot, and Castiel sneaks.
“Cas,” Sam hissed at the ceiling. “You gotta help me, man. I think the Apocalypse might be back on the rails.”
Castiel whooshed into existence, blinking owlishly. “Sam. Why are you wearing cupcake footie pyjamas?”
“Forget the pyjamas! Dean’s quoting Shakespeare. Willingly. I’m pretty sure that’s bigger than any Horseman.”
Notes: Sequel to What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?, a very short G-rated piece of crack in which Gabriel hexes Dean into speaking only in Shakespeare quotes to try to make him confess his love to Castiel (but Dean, of course, picks another angel). Because it was princess_aleera's birthday, and she made me write What passion, so now she gets a sequel, shameless enabler that she is.
( Read more... )
Characters: Castiel, Sam, (Hal)Lucifer (or is he?), Dean, Bobby; and... well, someone less expected.
Pairings: Properly speaking, gen. But the story focuses on the following relationships: Sam/Castiel, Sam/Lucifer, Lucifer/Castiel, Dean/Castiel. If I write a sequel, it may go in any of those directions, depending on what the boys get up to.
Written: 16-19 May 2012.
Length: c. 12500.
Warnings: Mental illness, although Castiel doesn't see anything wrong with himself.
Notes: Started out as crack-drabble-fluff for princess_aleera's prompt at the Sassy minibang prompt meme. And it grew, into basically my alternate season finale. Written very quickly between the airings of episodes 7.22 and 23; takes place after episode 21; edited after 23 aired, but the only changes were fixing typoes and replacing some of Castiel's random observations with those from 7.23, because they were far more interesting than the ones I'd written for him! So, spoilers throughout season 7.
( Read more... )
Summary: Poor, bedraggled dog!Sam, lost and hungry, runs into an unexpected precise, blue-eyed feline. Who promptly rearranges the world so that everyone, including both their owners, have sufficient cuddles.
Pairing: Dean/Gabriel and (sort of) Castiel/Sam.
Written: 13 May 2012.
Length: c. 3200.
Warnings: Dog!Sam and cat!Cas. I feel I should mention that the animals do not have sex. Their relationship is entirely about then snuggles.
Notes: Originally written for this prompt (minus the typo, I'm afraid) at the Sassy minibang commentfic meme. All but the Gabriel/Dean coffee shop scene originally appeared there. The title is a Snoopy quote.